Well, it seems like just when I think I have my life planned out, I get a curve ball. First in coming to Georgia, and now having to leave Georgia. I may or may not have spent the entire first month in Georgia loathing it's very existence. I was just reminiscing a few days ago how I spent my entire Independence Day in my room feeling sorry for myself while listening to the fireworks outside my window. Yet slowly, surely, almost without my knowledge, I have come to love this place I once despised. Yes, I occasionally still get annoyance in my heart when I walk outside and I am instantly dripping with sweat. I still can't figure out how one day my car can be immaculate and the next day the skies have snowed pollen down on it. Or how it can be completely sunny one minute, pour down rain for five minutes, and then back to sunny skies without missing a beat? These things are mysterious to me and although I'm sure I'll never know the "why" or "how," hopefully I'll get another opportunity to bask in their mystery.
For a small town girl who knew only rain, the heart of the South has taught me a thing or two. My dad has always told me, "Jess, Slow down! Annunciate your words!" Well, it turns out, people talk even slower over here... or I have started talking faster. Sometimes I think I can get ten of my thoughts out to their one. (Okay, that may be a slight exaggeration.) I have learned an entire vocabulary of ebonics. I have learned that sometimes slower is better. Most of all, I have learned that it really doesn't matter where God places you, because even when I think I have my life planned out just they way it should be, His plan is always better than mine. Even now, in the midst of a roller-coaster of emotions, I have to believe that His plan is best.
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4
July of last year I would have told anyone who asked that I had no desire to be here, this was the LAST place I wanted to be. I had absolutely no knowledge or faith that the desire of my heart could actually become the place that God took me. Don't get me wrong, it didn't happen over night. In fact, it took me months to finally realize that I needed to "unpack" my life - emotionally, spiritually, relationally. Although it makes moving ten times harder on my heart, I wouldn't change it for the world. I have been blessed with some of the most amazing friends here and regardless as to whether or not we get to share life again, I will always cherish the memories and their influence lives on in my life.
"Eyes have not seen, ears have not heard, the mind cannot conceive what God has planned for those who love him." 1 Corinthians 2:9
