Marathon anyone?

I promise I'm not here to try and bore you to death with analogies or make a Jesus Parallel out of every situation, which is why I put off writing this post for a good four months. All that to say, I'm going to do it anyway...

Wednesday morning at the crack of dawn (wait, "dawn" means there's light out... okay, before dawn...), I was running in formation and I started reminiscing on my marathon. For those of you who don't know, my father and I ran a marathon in December. It was his fifth and my first. Running the marathon was one of the things on my "bucket list," so I guess I'm a step closer to death. If you have never ran a race before, they are amazing. It really doesn't matter where your ability level is when there are 2,000+ people. There will inevitably be someone faster than you and someone slower than you. The feeling is so amazing when you are standing there in the bitter cold morning watching the world wake up, anticipating the shot to be fired, and waiting for the "Go!" to be announced. Familiar jitters capture my body and the excitement drives my determination. The realization that I'm not in this alone, makes it so much more appealing. It may be a "race" but it certainly is one filled with encouragement and the unspoken knowledge that we are all hoping to see the person beside us finishing strong in a few hours.
I'm sure you can guess how i draw my "spiritual parallel" from this event. I write this as much for myself as I do for those of you who take a minute to read it. My dad told me that every mile that I got to that I had not ran yet, I needed to do a dance. (Before the marathon of 26.2 miles, the furthest that I had ran was 18 miles.) It sounds silly and juvenile, yet it gave me something to look forward to and a strange motivation to get to the next mile. I can't even explain to you how much I respect my father. Don't get me wrong, I respected him before the marathon, but running with him opened up a whole new avenue of respect. He earned my respect in an "athlete" kind of way. I wanted to run fast in the beginning and he kept warning me that I needed to hold a steady pace and it would give me a good foundation for the rest of the race. He was so right. Especially at mile 22. Dang, I was finished but he just kept on keeping on at his steady pace.

What if I lived out my walk for Christ with the same principles that I ran the marathon? What if every time I got to a new place with Him, I stopped to reflect and do a little dance? Sometimes I wonder if I really grasp the idea that Jesus Christ is running the race next to me, If I really understand that he is keeping my steady pace for me so that I won't burn out before the finish line. My Heavenly Father is singing my cadence and keeping me in step. I so badly want that "good and faithful servant" at the end of my Marathon, so for now, I will keep on keeping on. One day at a time, One mile at a time, One step at a time.

Colon Finale/Change your life

"I hate my job." "I'm too fat." "I need to go on a diet." "I wish I could change this, I wish I could change that." How many freaking times a day do we hear people saying crap like this? ALL stinkin' day. There IS a beautiful thing to being a human being, we can change at any time we want. Yes, at ANY time. How about if you look in the mirror for twenty minutes every morning and try on fifteen different outfits just to see which one can hide your Whopper from last night best, maybe you should re-think eating it. Don't get me wrong, if you like some pudge, more power to you, I'm simply speaking to those that whine about it all day. I have a suggestion, take your pie-hole, stuff some fresh vegetables in it and spend that $10 bucks a day that you spend on fast food on a gym membership. Come on people, is it really that hard??? If you hate your job and you find yourself complaining about your boss all day, chances are, he doesn't really like you either, so go find yourself a new job where you can actually take pride in what you do. Angry because you didn't get a pay raise this year? Well, your boss is still angry because he has to pay 50% more in taxes (thanks Mr. President.) and still pay your whining A star star. Nobody cares about your complaints except for the guy next to you at work who wants to complain too. Get off your lazy gluteus maximus, own up to your own choices, and change your way of life.


Colon Cleanser:
I know you all are dying to know how my colon is doing. It's doing just great! The final outcome of my ten day excursion was quite lovely. I feel amazing, lost 15.8lbs, and am a healthier me! The first few days sucked, but after the hunger pangs go away it's easier to say no to things. I started to crave the concoction instead of dread it. My stomach has definitely shrank. I ate two strawberries and half a banana and I thought I was going to explode. Getting back into eating is definitely something that needs to be done slowly. Overall, I highly recommend this if you're looking to clean out your insides. It was well worth the sacrifice.

Colon Cleanser...

Yes, I have embarked upon the unspeakable journey of eating only one thing for ten days. I suppose it sounds crazy to many people, but rumor has it the feeling after doing a colon cleanser is well worth the sacrifice. The particular colon cleanser that I chose to do is the Lemonade Master Cleanser. Dang doesn't that just sound so professional? It's actually really simple; 1/2 lemon, 2TBSP Grade B Organic Maple Syrup, 1/10 tsp Cayenne Pepper, 12 oz Purified Water. That's it. Drink that bad boy 6-12 times a day along with as much water as you want. (No, you cannot eat!) I'm currently on day 6. Only 4 more to go! I was going to post a picture of my, ahem, waste product, but I decided some people might get offended... although, this is MY blog, so I'm not sure why I'm worried about other people... Anyway, back to the story, I know you all are dying to know whether I've been having diarrhea for 6 days. Nope. I sure haven't. Although, just in the last day, I've started seeing the toxins/oils pass. Yes, I know you are probably grossed out by now, but what I'm trying to get across here is that this really does work. I will refrain from going any deeper, but if you should desire to know more, I will be more than happy to tell you all the nitty gritty details. 8+) Days one and two were the most difficult to get through, after that it's pretty smooth sailing minus the fact that you often have to sit and watch people eat real food. At first the concoction was hard for me to choke down, now I actually crave it. In fact, I think I'm going to get a glass right now...