Friday, March 13, 2009

Colon Finale/Change your life

"I hate my job." "I'm too fat." "I need to go on a diet." "I wish I could change this, I wish I could change that." How many freaking times a day do we hear people saying crap like this? ALL stinkin' day. There IS a beautiful thing to being a human being, we can change at any time we want. Yes, at ANY time. How about if you look in the mirror for twenty minutes every morning and try on fifteen different outfits just to see which one can hide your Whopper from last night best, maybe you should re-think eating it. Don't get me wrong, if you like some pudge, more power to you, I'm simply speaking to those that whine about it all day. I have a suggestion, take your pie-hole, stuff some fresh vegetables in it and spend that $10 bucks a day that you spend on fast food on a gym membership. Come on people, is it really that hard??? If you hate your job and you find yourself complaining about your boss all day, chances are, he doesn't really like you either, so go find yourself a new job where you can actually take pride in what you do. Angry because you didn't get a pay raise this year? Well, your boss is still angry because he has to pay 50% more in taxes (thanks Mr. President.) and still pay your whining A star star. Nobody cares about your complaints except for the guy next to you at work who wants to complain too. Get off your lazy gluteus maximus, own up to your own choices, and change your way of life.


Colon Cleanser:
I know you all are dying to know how my colon is doing. It's doing just great! The final outcome of my ten day excursion was quite lovely. I feel amazing, lost 15.8lbs, and am a healthier me! The first few days sucked, but after the hunger pangs go away it's easier to say no to things. I started to crave the concoction instead of dread it. My stomach has definitely shrank. I ate two strawberries and half a banana and I thought I was going to explode. Getting back into eating is definitely something that needs to be done slowly. Overall, I highly recommend this if you're looking to clean out your insides. It was well worth the sacrifice.

3 comments:

  1. Give it a minute. I may go there.
    Big ups to you, young lady.
    :)

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  2. oops. the above comment is from me. :) MY B.

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  3. misery does love company. i'm learning that for sure. i like misery when i complain, at least. :)

    and also, love these blogs. i'm catching up and laughing out loud at the colon business. :)

    LOVE YOU!

    ReplyDelete